Your Child’s Big Feelings
Reflecting Children’s Feelings: Why It Matters
Many behavior challenges—tantrums, defiance, anxiety, or shutdowns—are rooted in big emotions. One of the most effective tools we teach parents in therapy is reflecting feelings.
When children feel understood, they regulate better.
Why Emotional Validation Is Important
When you reflect your child’s feelings, you communicate:
“I see you. I hear you. You matter.”
This helps:
Build emotional safety and confidence
Strengthen the parent-child relationship
Reduce meltdowns and power struggles
Support resilience and problem-solving
When children feel right, they behave better.
Validation Is Not Permissiveness
Reflecting feelings does not mean approving behavior or removing limits.
Feelings are always acceptable.
Behavior may still need guidance.
In fact, children are more open to boundaries once they feel understood.
How to Reflect Feelings
Step 1: Listen Fully
Give your full attention
Notice tone and body language
Listen for the emotion underneath the words
Step 2: Name the Feeling
Ask yourself: What is my child feeling right now?
Use 1–2 emotion words
Reflect it back calmly
Avoid lecturing or problem-solving
If you get it wrong, your child will correct you. Connection matters more than perfection.
Quick Examples
Child: “That teacher is so mean!”
Parent: “You’re feeling angry and disappointed.”
Child: “All kids pick on me!”
Parent: “You feel hurt and rejected.”
Child: “It’s not fair!”
Parent: “You’re frustrated you can’t watch the movie.”
Supporting Emotional Growth
Reflecting feelings is a core skill used in child therapy and play therapy because it builds emotional awareness and regulation.
If your child struggles with big emotions, behavior challenges, or anxiety, working with a licensed child therapist can provide support for your family.
Contact our practice to learn more about child therapy and parent support service
